Let the Children Come to Me

Another New Friend

2011-04-19T14:02:00.002-05:00

Blessed be God in His Angels and in His Saints!

I started reading the Diary of St. Maria Faustina Kowalska on Sunday and every day of reading has been endless fun:

"One day, tired out from all these uncertainties, I asked Jesus, "Jesus are You my God or some kind of phantom? Because my superiors say that there are all sorts of illusions and phantoms. If you are my Lord, I beg you to bless me." Then Jesus made a big sign of the cross over me and I, too, signed myself. When I asked pardon of Jesus for this question, He replied that I had in no way displeased Him by this question and that my confidence pleased Him very much" (54)

The way St. Faustina talks reminds me so much of myself- I always used to bother myself with writing pretty prose or prayers- or just being really formal- in my journal to Jesus (He has since told me that He wants to hear what I say to Him...who woulda thought)- starting a sentence with "because" just seems to me to be a really 6th grade girl thing to do- I do it all the time when I'm rambling- but I love that she does it too! Not that she doesn't write beautifully, but it's so very human!

"O life so dull and monotonous, how many treasures you contain! When I look at everything with the eyes of faith, no two hours are alike, and the dullness and monotony disappear. The grace which is given this hour will not be repeated in the next. It may be given me again, but it will not be the same grace. Time goes on, never to return again. Whatever is enclosed in it will never change; it seals with a seal for eternity" (62)

A Few Things

2011-04-10T21:23:00.004-05:00

Below is a picture of Joseph holding his bedtime snack tonight, a decadent dairy treat: hot cocoa with whipped cream on top. He even sprinkled a little cocoa powder on the whipped cream to make it fancy.

Why do I tell you this? Well, I've been looking for a replacement for whipped cream that didn't involve buckets of chemicals and partially hydrogenated oils- the search, I hope, isn't hopeless, but I have found a way to make a fancy, foamy dessert drink- behold!
Yes, the cup says "dream"- DREAM COME TRUE! It's just soymilk! You can't whip soymilk! Well, apparently you can- I did it while it was heating in a pan. I whipped it with an electric mixer over a medium flame (scorched soymilk tastes really weird- so heat gently)- when I was done I had heaps of foam that I could pick up with my fingers and dollop on my mug. Careful not to whip too much- it can all turn into foam and trust me, it really doesn't deflate.
I mixed in maple syrup, cinnamon, and cardamom- it was really good. Just like the fancy coffee place that made steamed foamy soymilk for me with their fancy machine- only I don't have a fancy machine! Further proof that not being able to have milk really isn't that bad.

And then...

As I was taking the above pictures off our camera I came across this video. I loaded it on my computer not knowing what to expect. This... is my family:

Don't ask me how Joseph make that sound at the end... he doesn't even know.

Awesomeness

2011-03-27T22:24:00.005-05:00

Praised be Jesus Christ!

It seems I'm going to be pushed out of the blog-light by THESE TWO. Yes, my brothers have started their own blog... a place for awesomeness.

You Dolphins and All Water Creatures...

2011-03-21T19:36:00.003-05:00

...BLESS THE LORD!

Yep, my boyfriend is the best. This past Thursday was my birthday and when Tony came home for break he gave me three fantastic fish!

On the container he gave them to me in, he pasted the words from the three young men not burning in fiery furnace in the book of Daniel: "You dolphins and water creatures, bless the Lord"! Very appropriate. So I appropriately named them Shaddrack, Mishack, and Abendego. I know, I know- fish die easily and quickly- but for now, they are lovely and delightful and I think they are certainly blessing the Lord!

No Limits

2011-03-07T23:11:00.006-06:00

"Your Holy Will is the life of my soul"

-St. Maria Faustina

Blessed be God forever!

I've been struggling these past few weeks with the kind of trials that leave a bad taste in your mouth. They're like when you wake up all hot with that moist feeling behind your ears and for some reason you can't take a shower- it's that type of feeling. Something you feel like you should just ignore but feels gross. Some of these are feelings like 'God won't love me unless I pick up every scrap of paper that I see and do all the dishes even when it's time to go to bed'- and the feeling that I don't deserve to be happy and in fact I shouldn't be happy, if I'm happy there's something wrong with me and something that I should be giving up so that I'm miserable. I shouldn't sit in the SUN and read, I should sit on the floor and mortify my weak flesh for wanting to be warm and comfortable and my weak mind for wanting to enjoy something.

Obviously, these are faulty lines of thinking.

As a side note to what I'm about to say, I've noticed that on Sundays I always go through some sort of depression, anger or some other form of having a "bad day"- does this happen to you? In college it was every Sunday- really got triggered by our house dinners too. It's become very VERY clear to me over the past few years and months that the devil REALLY hates God. He hates everything about God- he hates everything God made- he hates me and wants me to hate God and hates you and wants to make you suffer in torment for all of eternity. HATE!!! He's spent a long time festering in hate looking for every possible opportunity there might be to make us hate God or at least make us indifferent to Him so that we have no chance of being happy or fulfilled in life. Consequently, the devil hates Sundays because it's the Lord's day. So next time you feel grumpy on Sunday or think that you're supposed to be miserable or that you don't deserve to be loved (when I say that out loud it sounds so ridiculous... how could God want us to be miserable and unloved?) REMEMBER THIS:

GOD HAS NO LIMITS!!!

In less than a poof the devil is absolutely powerless against God. We humans are very humble creatures, but that just shows us that we ALREADY depend on God so much for everything so why do we not let Him lavish His love on us? Why do we insist on taking care of our problems ourselves? God is crazy- absolutely crazy- and crazy about you! Can you even conceive of infinite love? I can't. That's why I resist it I suppose- I'm so used to being hurt, why wouldn't God hurt me? Well, because He loves you so much that he SWOONS at every hair on your neck, He gives you millions of nerves so that you can feel AIR MOVING, He will more than bend over backwards to fix your stupid problem that you created and you really regret. And yes, He still loves you when you're imperfect. Sigh. Big one for me. I don't get it but I guess I don't have to. God doesn't limit how much love we get, only we do. God doesn't limit how much forgiveness we receive, only we do. God doesn't limit His mercy or His gifts- even in the Bible He didn't do many miracles in places that had little faith. It wasn't that they weren't worth doing miracles for- I mean those people still had babies (SUPER MIRACLE!) and scads of other everyday miracles, but they limited Him by their lack of faith.

So pray for me, and pray for your friends, that we would not place limits on God- we have Him in amazing ways (cough, the EUCHARIST) and we have every reason to die out of sheer excitement for what He's done. So let yourself! Lord open us up!

Oh, and this is what lent is all about, by the way.

2011-02-24T10:39:00.002-06:00

"The really unforgivable sin is the denial of sin, because, by it's nature, there is now nothing to be forgiven."

Servant of God Archbishop Fulton Sheen

Peace of Soul, 71

I'd just like to say...

2011-02-22T11:32:00.006-06:00

My boyfriend kisses bishop's rings. I love him. HAHA!

Yes, I know I'm a total Catholic nerd- but it's like the best kind! You get to do things like chant and get excited over unbleached beeswax candles and look sideways and smile when the priest uses an extra fancy chalice on a Marian feast day. In any case I was too scared to kiss Bishop's ring when the moment was presented to me- but I when I saw it I wish I had. It was a scene of the Crucifixion (yes it was a very large ring!) with Blessed Mother and St. John- a scene that means a great deal to me! The awkwardness of grabbing a man's hand and kissing his ring would have been washed away by pressing my lips to the image his precious and sacred wounds- not to mention Blessed Mother and St. John!

Our Benjamin

2011-02-17T14:23:00.003-06:00

He's going to grow up.

Sigh...

The New Kids I Work With

2011-02-15T17:18:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, when I got to the after school program I work at, the kids were insane. They didn't just have a valentine box with little cards and a few candies they had BAGS- shopping bags- full of candy and other valentines. Needless to say homework time was very loud...

When we were looking through valentine's in the evening we came across this hilariously awesome little gem.
He even has correct punctuation! Though this doesn't top when I subbed last week and a 5th grader yelled "Praised be Jesus!" in the middle of religion class. That was after he accidentally put down "Hypostatic Union" instead of of "Incarnation" on his homework....

Praised be Jesus!

New Lunch Spot

2011-02-07T11:54:00.001-06:00

One I can really get used to.

What God taught me through PMS Part Two

2011-02-05T12:17:00.004-06:00

Praised be Jesus Christ, now and forever!

Since I wrote part one I fell very ill- no cramps, just a high fever and lots of blowing my nose. Lots of exhaustion too- which is why part two comes today, all in God's plan!

I would say pretty much the most common symptom of PMS is mood swings. This comes in the form of irritability (yelling at your family for eating too loudly), crying all the time for any reason (or no reason at all), feelings of hopelessness or insanity (when everything really. truly. is. fine.), little things seeming like big things (like the time my whole family went to Old Country Buffet and I refused to go- but sobbed SO HARD while they were gone... what?), and just general irrationality ("What do you mean you didn't get tortillas at the store? I knew you never loved me!"). In my opinion, it all boils down to an feeling throughout your whole body of no control.

If you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. Something is about to happen in your body that you didn't exactly consent to have happen- not to mention all the scads of hormones zipping around (I asked my Mom why I felt insane and she said it was the hormones making my brain swell- now whether or not that was true, it gave me an incredible image...). However, as in all things, someone did consent to have this happen in your body... THE GOD WHO LOVES YOU!!!

Once you realize you have no control over your body, it gives you the opportunity to give up your body. For how afraid we are of our bodies we sure don't like to let go of them! We don't like to give up control for any reason. Either that or we just let our bodies, and consequently our fallen natures, rule us (which seems so comfortable and easy because fallen nature is so familiar to us... but, yeah, it never really works out...) When we give up our bodies we get a chance to imitate Christ on the Cross- didn't seem like He had much control over His body at that time...! However, He had ultimate control. Now, what I mean by this is not that we should give up and be irritable and irrational- but know that we feel irritable and irrational and tell God that since we don't have control over our bodies, He must or we shall be utterly destroyed. It's like St. Therese says "We are too little to be able to always rise above difficulties. Well, then, let us pass beneath them quite simply". When we are weak, HE IS STRONG! "For me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain"!!

I must say, recognizing that I don't have control is the hardest thing. For some reason, knowing ourselves seems to get lost in the chatter of everyday life. When I figure out I don't have control, saying "I place my life, my body, my mind, in your hands Jesus and I trust you to guide me to You- to safety, to the greatest love, to my very happiness- and to get all the things done that feel impossible right now done- YOU ARE GOD! AMEN!" is the the next hardest thing. God will guide us when we place our lives in His loving, more than capable hands. The next hardest thing is accepting the happiness and freedom God gives you- cause it'll end up that you'll feel like you have no problems and then you're like "What? This can't be right" BUT IT SO IS!

So this is what God taught me through PMS, I'm useless and I have no control- but He loves me more than I can ever know and treasures me and listens intently to my beating heart and has more than enough time to deal with my PMS problems. In short, God is wonderful.

"Ah! Do not let us stay very far from all that is brilliant. Let us love our littleness, love to feel nothing; then we shall be poor in spirit- and Jesus will come for us, far off as we are"

-St. Therese of Lisieux

In short...

"Ask Christ to help

you become happy"

-St. Paul Miki

Praised be Jesus!

What God taught me through PMS Part One

2011-02-01T10:39:00.007-06:00

Praised be Jesus, now and forever!

This weekend I was lamenting the fact that I had no book about spirituality and menstrual cycles. It seems that there should be one- for young, unmarried girls and young adults. When I was taking confirmation classes I remember my small group leader talking to us about how her and her friends reminded each other to offer up their cramps to God instead of complaining about them. When I was in 9th grade I didn't even know what cramps were. I was greatly blessed by having no menstrual pain for many, many years- but it wasn't to be for my whole life. I also didn't notice mood swings or the inability to think rationally- most likely because I was in 9th grade and thought and acted irrationally quite frequently. I remember the first time that I had cramps I didn't know I could be in that much pain- ever. I tried to "bear it patiently" and not moan and complain- which is good. But there's so much more to the Christian life than simply "bearing it".

Last Easter was a huge turning point in my life. God showed me a tiny glimpse of His hugeness and I knew in my body- in my whole being- instead of just in my mind, that nothing in the entire world mattered but God. I went home from the vigil SO HAPPY knowing that I had received heaven- and God made His home in me- and that everything in the whole world was going to work out because Jesus rose from the dead and defeated death forever. I felt as if the whole world was mine- that it didn't matter if I lived or died or was beaten or I never ate again or if I ate three meals a day because God ruled the world and He's... well, God!

When I woke up on Easter morning I also woke up to day one of my period (which is SO always the way when it comes to periods!). Every few months, day one brings cramps- and really debilitating ones. The kind where you can't sit, stand, or lay down without pain- the kind that actually wake you up in the middle of the night because they hurt so bad- the kind that make you feel sure you will throw up or pass out- or both- the kind that make you positive that you know what labor pains feel like- the kind that make you absolutely and completely useless to the world. In any case, I spent the last part of mass in the parish office face down on the floor. However, call me crazy, but I was rejoicing so much that I couldn't stop smiling. I loved the pain because God allowed it- He allowed by body to be in pain but realize that my soul was free to be happy an light and peaceful. In the world, we get upset when we can't complete our tasks- when we are not in control and producing a lot of stuff. We must be constantly in action because if we are inactive we will realize that we are useless (because we are...). I had cramps and could do nothing but suffer- but that was all! I had permission to do nothing but offer myself, my pain, my tattered little body, my nothingness to God and I knew He would take care of the rest. And what a gift! I was useless to everyone and everything but God. (And just THINK what the ALMIGHTY GOD OF THE UNIVERSE can do with you!)

In any case, you know cramps don't last forever so live them while you can! We always hear about "suffering" to be like Christ and people want to go do amazing things- that are probably good things, but then a woman gets cramps and sees them as a bother. It's not a bother at all! It's love! It's purification! It's a reminder we are nothing! (As a side note, I don't take pain killers because my body can't handle them- I had overdose symptoms from ONE extra strength Tylenol- the pain was gone but the dizziness was incredible... I said a lot of things I regret when that happened haha... so in the end, I just take the pain and a nap.) Never curse the fact that you have cramps, or that they are disallowing you to complete tasks efficiently if at all, it's one of those times where God is so intensely asking you to give Him yourself that to say no seems ridiculous- almost laughable. What's fun then is throwing up your hands and laughing about it to Jesus- I could've been piously sitting in the pew looking pretty on Easter- but I was going to pass out or throw up- or both- so I had to thank God for communion face down in the parish office. Just me and Him- in my little self. Thanks be to God for menstrual cramps!

Non-Dairy Rice Crispy Bars!

2011-01-29T14:33:00.004-06:00

Praised be Jesus Christ!

I really like marshmallows. Thankfully, marshmallows are dairy-free but eating them straight out of the bag doesn't seem like the most honorable way of consuming them. Since I shun margarine also, rice crispy bars have been on my list of things I can't eat for awhile- but no more! I could always eat the peanut butter ones- but- there's no marshmallows in that recipe...

Because I'm that kind of a baker, I'm going to give you an annoying outline of the recipe instead of an actual recipe. I like to know how things work, rather than just follow directions one time. As a general rule in non-dairy baking, to substitute oil for butter, one uses half the amount (for example 1/2 cup butter= 1/4 cup oil). This works in cookies and cakes and breads of all kinds- substituting oil for butter or shortening even works with pie crust (trust me, my Mom and I could LIVE off of pie). Taking all that into account this is how I made my rice crispy bars:

First of all, I halfed the recipe (I didn't want to end up with a giant pan of rice crispy rocks) (plus I knew no one else would eat it). I used 3 cups of rice crispys and two cups of marshmallows. I'm really horrible at melting marshmallows on the stove- but I melted them with 2-3 tablespoons of canola oil. You might need more or less- my marshmallows were sticking really bad to the pan so I added more oil. The rest is like the normal recipe- without buttering the pan of course. My Mom said they needed butter flavor (yes, you can buy artificial butter flavor... ) but I really liked the marshmallowy taste. They were chewier than normal- meaning it took a little more effort to bite off a chunk and mash it down- however, this is why I give an outline so that you can experiment and figure out how to make yours the way you like them! Be not afraid!

Benja-bot

2010-08-26T19:33:00.003-05:00

This was Benjamin's project all day today. Boys have an innate ability to make mechanical noises.

Sunny Tablecloth

2010-08-25T09:47:00.001-05:00

Almost a Pilgrimage

2010-08-24T12:03:00.005-05:00

It's a REALLY Catholic place any how- what other bookshop has an Epiphany blessing over it's front door?

And what other book shop calls themselves a "Theological Book Seller"?
Yes, Loome Theological Book Sellers in Stillwater MN has it all- books with metal covers in Greek to first edition writings by St. John Fisher (yes, first edition- meaning the book printed like 500 years ago while St. John Fisher was STILL ALIVE- is IN the store able to be held in your hand- and bought by you if you have $2500).
I'm not exaggerating when I say this is the coolest book store known to man- imagine an old church with books in every crack and cranny- with skinny aisles and creaky staircases and just BOOKS up to every ceiling- that is literally what this is. Remember that part in Beauty and the Beast when he gives her the library and they play that gushy music and she cries "I've never seen so many books in all my life!"? That just what this is. You get to stare at shelves that look like this for as many hours as the store is open:
But make sure you do take a break and get some fresh air- after awhile you'll start growing glasses and a button down shirt- or you'll go into a coma from the sheer number and variety of books and the sheer lack of air. But make sure you go to the bathroom there- first of all there is a tub in the bathroom- why? I'll leave that up to your imagination. Second there are more books, and thirdly there are old sacrament certificates on the walls that are absolutely stunning.

I felt a long way from Northfield. Tony made it out only spending 5 dollars on a copy of Introduction to the Devout Life and I bought some Mystic Monk Coffee and a few cards from the 1940's remembering priests ordinations (10 cents each). The earth is such an odd place- and God is pleased with book stores like this- what a lovely crazy God we have!

Baking Days

2010-08-22T20:40:00.005-05:00

I love baking, but what I love even more is when my SIBLINGS bake! There's just something so irresistible about a boy of 7 saying "Rosey, I think I'm going to make some chocolate chip cookies" in his little voice- then doing it- by himself! This week Gracie decided to make pancakes:

Benjamin made "Chocolate Crinkles":

He spent half the night thinking up plans to sell them....

Though I should give him credit for wanting to give them away to our neighbor Bob first.

Then my boyfriend Tony and I made a cake roll at the request of Joseph. We went early to mass this morning so we could save a spot for the rest of my family- but by God's hand my family overslept and had to go to the 11 o clock (since when does Mom accidentally sleep in??)- as a consolation we made lunch and this cake roll while they went to mass. This time we got a picture- behold the delicious fluffy swirlyness!

Then to squeeze in one more baking excursion I made some sweet potato muffins for breakfast tomorrow. Sweet potato mash is something I will definitely keep in my freezer as a Momma. And to put some Catholic sprinkles on this post I'll leave you with a quote from my new beloved acquaintance St. Stanislaus Kostka, "I find a Heaven in the midst of saucepans and brooms."

Dark Sleepy Morning

2010-08-21T08:28:00.003-05:00

When I was biking to church this morning there was a glorious fog- I could feel the tiny water droplets collecting on me- quite exhilarating after a night of very little sleep. Now the fog has gone to heavy humidity but it's still sleepy and cool. Perhaps a day for sewing while being lulled by Sweet Land...? Take delight in your littleness before God!

To Save Time and Trouble...

2010-08-17T21:18:00.003-05:00

"From all this I have come to the conclusion that I should seek the company of those sisters for whom I have no natural liking and be like the good Samaritan to them. A word and a pleasant smile are often enough to cheer up someone who is sad and upset. But I want to be charitable not only to comfort people. I know I should soon lose heart if that were my aim, for something uttered with the best of intentions can, perhaps, be completely misunderstood. Therefore, to save time and trouble, I try to act solely to please Our Lord..."

-St. Therese, Story of a Soul

So practical! It was a great day when I realized that, if I was married, I would only ever have to worry about pleasing Our Lord. I remember reading the blog of a girl entering the Passionists saying "I want an undivided heart!" I thought, "Well dumb me, I have to be married and I have to live with a divided heart- live a divided life! Husband- Jesus, God-Family. This is stupid! I don't want to be married! I want an undivided heart too!" Well God heard my ineloquent little prayer and showed me that if I'm pleasing Him, I will be pleasing my husband- and if my husband wasn't pleased but God was, well who do you think needs to learn something? Sigh, really seems like a no brainier now that I think about it... God is so smart though as St. Therese puts it "to save time and trouble" let us only act to please our Lord!

Summer is Winding Down...

2010-08-16T19:42:00.003-05:00

But there's still a nice sunny spot on the swing!

I've decided- after the whole summer- that I miss blogging- and writing- and I'm going to do it more. This has been another one of those summers where I feel useless to the world. Both my parents have been working and so I've been taking care of the three little(r) ones. I vowed to make money with my sewing machine and all I made was a tie as a gift and 1 needed Sunday dress for myself. God gave me money in one way or another as He saw fit- so I'm quite content- plus I can't complain that I got to do "mom" things for three months. God's way is always the best way anyhow :)

Mary's Feast of Feasts and Non-Dairy Lemon Lusciousness!

2010-08-15T20:55:00.008-05:00

Ave Maria!

Last year we had a tea party in honor of our Lady's Assumption- this year, we had a pot-luck dinner! Mostly the reason was that I wanted families to come- I love spending time with my friends, but their families are so cool that I can't stand to leave them out.

I had three men at my service the entire day (not to mention our Blessed Mother...) and we accomplished a great deal. Though we weren't exactly done by the time the party started the lawn was mowed, the cakes were baked, 9 loaves of french bread were made, 24 egg-shells were washed and crushed for the compost pile, the lights were up, the side walks and driveway were immaculate, vespers was prayed and the tater-tot hot dish was in the oven. I am heartily grateful for the service of these men- besides there's something so satisfying about serving soup and biscuits to hungry men that work for you. Pope John Paul II says that all of mankind is entrusted to women- it is our vocation! And of course the best kind of ruler is humble and rich in love that is strong as death- like...hmm... Mary?

The highlighted dessert was the Assumption cake- it is a double decker angel food cake (I'll explain how to stack angel food cakes without fancy equipment if anyone wants to know) with a cloud of whipped cream and of course, Blessed Mother being taken up on top. Legions of angels bearing up Our Lady on the clouds of heaven!

The little pastries next to the Assumption cake are filled with non-dairy lemon curd (2 angel food cakes=24 egg whites= 24 lonely egg yolks!) which is delicious- who needs butter? This is a single recipe and maybe makes a cup or so- I, of course, octupled (is that a word?) the recipe and ended up with- a lot.

6 tablespoons of sugar

2 teaspoons corn starch

Zest of half a lemon

3 egg yolks

1/4 cup lemon juice (don't use the yucky store-bought kind! SQUEEZE YOUR OWN LEMONS!)

Combine sugar and cornstarch in a saucepan and whisk it so there are no cornstarch clumps. Add zest and egg yolks and whisk until everything is wet and yellow. Stir in your lemon juice and fire up the stove to medium heat. Cook until the mixture starts to get thick like yogurt (it will get thicker as it cools don't worry) making sure you're stirring pretty much all the time so that it doesn't burn on the bottom of the pan. Remove it from the heat and cool! Experiment by adding some soy or rice milk to try to bulk out the recipe (in the original butter filled recipe it makes more because there's a whole stick of butter in it...) and just cook it a little longer. I would NOT recommend using margarine or shortening of any kind. Not only is it horrible for your health but it will make an absolute mess of your luscious lemon curd. Butter can do things that margarine just will never be able to do- that's the way it is. Some things are simply inferior to others.

So at the end of the day, Mary is body and soul in heaven, and we await the joyful day of our death and the reunion of our souls with our glorified bodies in the new Jerusalem. Sigh, God is good.

Non-Dairy Ice Cream Success!

2010-07-03T10:55:00.002-05:00

JMJ

Having finally gone pretty much totally non-dairy (I still snitch on candy bars) I started to miss a few things (definitely NOT the gross feeling of not being able to digest dairy though...!) one of them being ice cream. Over the years my Mom has tried all kinds of different non-dairy ice creams but liked very few of them. She always said they tasted "beany" and they never had that great of a texture. She has gone to making her own ice cream out of non-dairy whip. It tastes pretty good but it's positively loaded with chemicals and partially hydrogenated whatevers, which I really don't enjoy putting in my body. "Well what the heck!" I told myself one day, "Why can't I just make a custard base from soy milk and put that in the ice cream maker?"- My Mom makes chocolate pudding from soy milk all the time, why not ice cream? I tried it this week and I'll say that I am rather satisfied with the result. It feels like ice cream and looks like ice cream- I can't say that it tastes like ice cream because it really tasted like chocolate- because I put tons of chocolate in it- but I'm sure if one scraped a vanilla bean, one would get a taste very comparable to vanilla ice cream. Note that this is a NON-DAIRY recipe- not a vegan recipe.

4 egg yolks

1/2 cup sugar (I used brown sugar)

2 cups soy milk

Flavoring of your choice (1/2- 1 teaspoon of vanilla, 1/2 teaspoon of peppermint extract, baking chocolate or cocoa power, 1 scraped vanilla bean, the possibilities are endless! You're a non-dairy baker, I know you have lots of practice being creative...!)

Heat the soy milk in a saucepan until it's hot- but not bubbling- just so when you put your finger in you snap back and go "ow!"

Meanwhile, whisk the egg yolks and sugar in a separate bowl. I got fancy and decided to like whip them so they got all thick and light yellow- but I really don't think you need to do that, just make sure the sugar and yolks are really well blended.

When the milk is hot pour a little into the egg mixture to temper the egg yolks while whisking and get them warm before you pour the whole mixture back into the sauce pan of hot milk. Always keep mixing- not vigorously- but just so that everything gets blended nicely. If you don't temper the yolks before you put them into the hot milk the mixture will curdle and you'll get nasty chunks of cooked egg- and yes- you will need to start over.

Return the mixture to the heat and cook until the mixture coats whatever you're mixing with (supposedly everybody mixes with wooden spoons and always says "until the mixture coats the back of a wooden spoon"- but I don't mix with wooden spoons... I could really tell it was ready based on how it was sticking to the whisk- if you don't know what it looks like, look up how to make real ice cream and you'll see- you want the mixture to be like, well, melted ice cream, and not like pudding.) It should really only take a few minutes, if that- plus this is when your egg yolks get cooked. I always get really impatient at this point and throw in some flour to help thicken it. I don't think it really makes a difference, but you can throw in like a teaspoon of flour if you want to be like me.

Remove from the heat and stir in your flavoring.

You MUST chill your mixture before you put it in the ice cream maker. So put it in a bowl in the refrigerator for 2 or 3 hours.

You also kind of have to have an ice cream maker- I was always one of those kids who just whimpered "It's not fair" when people made home make ice cream on TV and said "Well, just pop it into your ice cream maker and voila!" because we didn't have one, and neither of my parents drank coffee so we couldn't even do the roll-the-coffee-can stunt. My Mom got one last year though and let me tell you- it's so worth it.

So, one more think people can't feel bad for me about. I am holding that this lactose intolerance is a party suffering. Praised be Jesus Christ!

2010-06-29T17:13:00.002-05:00

Joseph: "Benjamin! Let's be like cool monk guys and fast until dinner!"

CAKE ROLL!!

2010-06-21T17:58:00.004-05:00

Praised be Jesus!

Today I made my first CAKE ROLL! If you're wondering, it's one of these:

That isn't my cake roll- my sister took our camera to camp this week, so no picture, but you can infer the awesomeness. This could easily become an obsession. It was really easy and FAST and looks SO COOL. Some might disagree with me saying that it's easy, but I'm not afraid of folding ingredients into whipped egg whites and I'm not afraid of rolling a cake- I'm feeling that kind of crazy baking empowerment that you get when something works. VIVA CAKE ROLLS!!!

Summer!

2010-06-09T21:56:00.005-05:00

For my 3 youngest siblings today was the last day of school- and boy did they kick it of with force! Grace, as a new ninth grader spent the day at Valleyfair like every new ex-middle schooler should. Joseph, Benjamin and I went to a park with a lake this afternoon and Benjamin fell in the lake (mind you we had no towels or extra clothes along). Funny though that Benjamin had sat down in the water before he slipped and fell...8 year olds! The best age ever! After dinner Joseph was "bouncing that ball off of Benjamin's head" and they broke a wine glass that shattered all over the dining room floor- then they gorged on popcorn. Benjamin so earnestly asked me if anyone had ever won the record for having the biggest mouth. I told him I had only ever seen the man who could fit 3 cheeseburgers in his mouth at once- but that I didn't know if that could be the record for the biggest mouth. As my Dad was putting them to sleep Joseph was saying:

'We really don't have school tomorrow? What are we going to do?'...

That's my question...

Corpus Christi is the Best Solemnity Ever

2010-06-08T21:05:00.002-05:00

Eucharistic processions are very high on my list of favorite things. Actually they probably are the first- fireworks are a close second. I think heaven will be like a Eucharistic procession with fireworks.

You might think was taking a picture of the beautiful habits but no, I was looking at the guy in the suit. He helped organize the procession and I thought this picture of him on a street corner was pretty irresistible.

Habits in Loring Park? We heartily approve. Not to mention that the Lord passed by too.

2010-06-03T21:21:00.002-05:00

"I am sure that God wishes to lead your soul by the path of pure faith, that is by faith without any of the self satisfaction which sentiments and perceived certainty give. From time to time you will receive a ray of light and warmth, and you must live on that, holding on to your faith without any reflex consolation, though ever with a very real, but unfelt joy in the depths of your soul... You will seem to yourself at times to have almost lost your faith and yet it remains whole and entire in the fine point of your soul, all gathered up into so sharp and imperceptible a point that it seems no longer to exist. Close your eyes, and remain with Jesus, saying a loving Amen to all He is gazing at in His Father."

-Blessed Columba Marmion, Union With God, 83

A Few More

2010-06-02T21:09:00.005-05:00

This has nothing to do with the Handmaids, but the wingspan on this dragonfly I saw this morning was like 5 inches. I thought it was really cool.

In any case, if you were aching to see more of the Mystical Valley of the Handmaids, here's a treat!

The Mystical Valley leads down to a winding river...

Which used to have a bridge before the river flooded this spring. The Handmaids are now confined to exploring only one side of the forest...

Oh, poor them...

They said they are waiting for a little boy to build a raft for them to get across.

One more look at that lovely habit! Praised be Jesus!

We've all been waiting...

2010-06-01T17:17:00.003-05:00

Including HIM...

Our dearest Bernadette is now His dearest Sister Beata Marie of the Holy Name of Jesus!

This is the "Mystical Valley" (as the Handmaids call it) that they can wander through as they please- they just have to watch out for the cow pies!

Here is Sister Beata with her double sister: Sister Miriam Rose of the Incarnate Word. I'm a little speechless as to how beautiful they are- Praised be Jesus forever and ever!

Freedom Continued

2010-05-29T09:59:00.002-05:00

Praised be Jesus!

So one of my first acts of freedom from school was to become a committed adorer at my church. I've wanted to do it for a long time but never could because I would have had to find a sub for 9 months of the year. Being young, I always think that I never need to sleep and that getting up to meet a lover in the middle of the night is really romantic so I signed up for a 1-2 AM slot. Well, my thoughts about it were definitely more romantic than it actually was. I mean, if you think about it, it was perfectly romantic- the kind of romantic where you boyfriend tries to dip you backwards to kiss you but ends up shoving his nose in your eye. I think you know what I mean.

First I couldn't get in because I don't know how the lock on the door works and a tall man named Pierre had to get up and let me in, then in my excitement I ran up to the front of the chapel to adore Jesus in the front row but I was really noisy because I'm an 8 year old in a 22 year old's body- then I realized that because I'm in my favorite corner I can't see the clock and don't have one on me so I have no idea when to leave- I decided to guess (I was right!) but then as I was leaving I accidentally slammed the door- really loud- at 2 in the morning. Sigh. Well I guess it shows how much the Lord loves- it's like we're married and can clean our ears in the same room. God is so wonderful.

FREEDOM!

2010-05-28T09:30:00.005-05:00

By the abundant grace of Our Lord Jesus I FINISHED COLLEGE!!!!!!! Now I just have teacher certification things to finish, but I'm done! I'm FREE! My exile is OVER!

A million cool things happened since Divine Mercy Sunday- I mean- Easter is always packed with wild spiritual adventures- and I'll probably never write about them- but I will write about one really cool thing I did this semester BLINDFOLDED ROCK CLIMBING.

I took a rock climbing class because I was a senior and I needed no-outside-work kind of class, plus rock climbing is cool. There was just one problem, I don't wear pants. Usually I'm really firm about the skirt only thing- I just hate wearing pants. But I felt this time I had to give in. I figured it would be pretty immodest to rock climb in a skirt, especially because I knew there was no real reason I shouldn't wear pants, I just don't like them. So I got myself a pair of loose fitting athletic pants and went to class.

Long story short, I was one of those kids who improved a lot over the semester because I hadn't really ever climbed before (saving those "community building retreats" we went on in middle school). I always took the easiest way up- meaning any of the most comfortable hand-holds- and I always made sure I was totally balanced before I moved a limb- definitely did NOT want to fall- even if I knew I was attached to a rope which actually pretty much makes falling more than a foot impossible. I kept watching these crazy guys (the real rock climbing guys who owned the fancy shoes and wore ripped khakis) leap to hand-holds out of their reach and then miss- and fall- and then recklessly grab back onto the wall and do it all over again. One day though we did blindfolded climbing- which is when the climber (not the belayer!) wears a blindfold and feels their way up the wall. It was amazing! All of a sudden any hand-hold you find feels good enough- because it's all you have! And you find all sorts of natural cracks and crannies that you never would have noticed had you been looking. And besides that- there are no distractions- you are in your own silent world and all you know is that you are somewhere on the wall and if you keep going you know that you'll get to the top. And I was thinking...

IT'S SO MUCH LIKE THE SPIRITUAL LIFE!

When we're kids we always take the easy way- not because we're lazy, but because we've never prayed before. We look for the big chunky prayers to memorize- we go to church on Sunday, own a Bible (might even read it every now and then!) and try to be good- but why? Because that's what you do! At a certain point though we have to realize that we can't just do something to do it. Just going to church on Sunday doesn't make a relationship with God- we have to participate, we have to explore our faith outside of Sunday- and most importantly we have to communicate with God!

Even still, sometimes all the chunky handholds make us think that they are the only way up the wall, and that using them is the goal. All the hand-holds are certainly the only way to get up the wall, God wills that. We can't find Jesus without reading the Bible, and going to church on Sunday is really, really important- even down to things like having a car and a job are important for a person to live, and how can we climb if we don't have food? But it isn't until God strips us of all sight- letting us feel us completely alone that we begin to search and find all the intricacies of the life he made for us. We begin to see that every second we are alive is an opportunity to get closer to Him.

At first we think that if we go up the wall as we have been, looking for the big easy hand-holds (feeling around for them at this point!), that we will make the same progress. But soon we find out that it not only takes way too long to find those while blindfolded but there's no guarantee that they are even there. In our struggle, however, we do feel a little natural ledge- you might recognize a little piece of a scripture that perfectly fits the situation you are now in or you may see a little gift you could give someone that will go unnoticed to all- in any case, it has helped you go three more feet up the wall. We get kind of used to using everything around us to get up the wall- and we even find a few nice hand-holds on the way! But then the unthinkable happens- you can't find a good enough hand hold and in your grappling around you lose balance and...

YOU FALL!

As you're falling you cry, "Oh Lord! How can you do this to me?? I was doing everything right! Why didn't you give me something to grab on to? Now I am falling! Now I am done for! I trusted you to give me everything I needed to be successful in climbing this wall! You said I would be happy if I followed you! I am not happy! I am falling! And what's worse- I can't see anything- you blinded me! I am lost!" This I like to think of as like- losing your job, or not being able to find one, or having someone yell at you for making a mistake- or even falling into a sin. Little did you know that God was holding you on the rope so tightly and was so closely monitoring your progress that when you fell off the wall, you didn't actually lose any ground. Nothing is actually wrong and you just freaked out for nothing. You are hanging there apart from the wall and God is just holding you. All you feel is Him holding you. You can't see anything, you can't feel anything , you are just hanging in mid air thinking- how am I not dead? How is it that I am surviving without everything being perfect? How am I surviving without the house being clean, or with overwhelming fatigue? The truth is, God is way bigger than you and loves you so much that He is personally holding you in mid-air until you figure out that all you have to do is grab onto the wall and keep climbing. He as shown you His presence, but only after long suffering and failure- not to mention having to notice and USE all the gifts He gave you- even down to the most minute detail.

At the end of that day's climb, you don't have to climb blindfolded again- but if you get distracted and forget God, you might want to. And besides, you know now that if you fall He WILL hold you- and is always holding you! And when you use all the chunky hand-holds now you will see that they will only propel you up the wall quicker and so you rejoice in using them- instead of being dependent. Oh! Isn't God wonderful? He thinks of everything!

In any case, I thought it was a neat comparison and there's so much else in it that I could write- but I'll leave that to the Lord to reveal in our hearts! All praise be to Him forever!

Divine Mercy Sunday!

2010-04-11T22:09:00.004-05:00

So a million cool things happened to me since February, but I didn't blog about them because- well, I just didn't. But this story is too wonderful not to share- so here's a little excerpt from the diary of St. Faustina! Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One- have mercy on us and on the whole world!

This morning after completing my spiritual exercises, I began at once to crochet. I sensed a stillness in my heart; I sensed that Jesus was resting in it. That deep and sweet consciousness of God's presence prompted me to say to the Lord,

"O Most Holy Trinity dwelling in my heart, I beg you: grant the grace of conversion to as many souls as the stitches that I make today with this crochet hook."

Then I heard these words in my soul: My daughter, too great are your demands.

"Jesus, You know that for You it is easier to grant much rather than a little."

That is so, it is less difficult for Me to grant a soul much rather than a little, but every conversion of a sinful soul demands sacrifice.

"Well, Jesus, I offer You this whole-hearted work of mind; this offering does not seem to me to be too small for such a large number of souls; You know, Jesus, that for thirty years You were saving souls by just this kind of work. And since holy obedience forbids me to perform great penances and mortifications, therefore I ask You, Lord: accept these mere nothings stamped with the seal of obedience as great things."

Then I heard a voice in my soul: My dear daughter, I comply with your request.

The Presentation of the Lord!

2010-02-02T10:09:00.002-06:00

God is so wonderful. I love the Catholic Church because we do so many cool things- like candle blessings, and liturgical colors. Todays liturgical color is white and, of course, it snowed. My friend likes to refer to it as "liturgical snow". I always think of when St. Therese entered Carmel and she was hoping it would snow because she loves so snow much- and it really didn't look like it would, but God made it snow for her! God pays so much attention to us- more than we pay attention to him! At mass this morning the priest talked about how crazy it was that Simeon and Anna recognized God because they always see babies coming through the Temple- they payed attention! May we all pay so much attention to God that we recognize him and his little gifts when someone takes the last bread stick in front of us or when he makes it snow for us!

Calvin and Hobbes

2010-02-02T09:51:00.002-06:00

Benjamin has taken to reading Calvin and Hobbes out loud all the time. Given that he's doing it all the time he's gotten quite good at emphasizing the right words and making all the right sounds to go with the comics. My Dad decided to film several of Benjamin's readings- here's a taste.

A Little Blessing

2010-01-24T20:21:00.002-06:00

Last night I was putting by brothers to bed and had them bless themselves with holy water. Benjamin drew three crosses on himself: one on his forehead, one on his nose, and one on his mouth. Benjamin had just watched a movie that he said was too scary so it made sense to me that he would bless his forehead, and blessing your lips is common so that God's Word will always be on your lips, but his nose? He told me then that he put a cross on his nose so he wouldn't smell anything, and continued to explain that he put a cross on his mouth so that he wouldn't drool on the pillow.

Let the children come to me!!!

I will strike you down and cut off your head

2010-01-20T10:16:00.004-06:00

David answered him:

“You come against me with sword and spear and scimitar,

but I come against you in the name of the LORD of hosts,

the God of the armies of Israel that you have insulted.

Today the LORD shall deliver you into my hand;

I will strike you down and cut off your head.

This very day I will leave your corpse

and the corpses of the Philistine army for the birds of the air

and the beasts of the field;

thus the whole land shall learn that Israel has a God.

All this multitude, too,

shall learn that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves.

For the battle is the LORD’s and he shall deliver you into our hands.”

(1 Samuel 17)

So, the Devil is really stupid. But often times for stupid reasons we listen to his lies and throw ourselves into a tizzy. The reading about how David whooped Goliath today was so great for me to read since lately the Devil has been really bothering me with all sorts of crap. But that's just what it is- crap! He comes against me with physical temptations and intellectual lies and so often I come up against him with nothing- and all by myself.

The Philistine said to David,

“Am I a dog that you come against me with a staff?”

Then the Philistine cursed David by his gods

and said to him, “Come here to me,

and I will leave your flesh for the birds of the air

and the beasts of the field.”

But God is so HUGE! And God is ALWAYS THERE and with one tiny thought he is able to 'strike him down and cut off his head'. Why don't I come against the Devil in the Name of the Lord Jesus?! God uses anything to crush the head of the serpent when we come to him. There are so many times where nothing can break through the walls of despair I imprison myself in- no kind words, no reason or argument, no chastisement- but then someone will spell the word "stake" as "steak" and I'll accidentally smile. After that God has his in and I cannot be controlled by despair any longer. God knows us! If David slew the Philistine with an rock we can stomp on the head of the serpent with a pair of fun high heels! Of course behind those 'fun high heels' is an immense amount of strength and love. We are nothing without God- but God always comes as these little things that are seemingly insignificant. Babies! Bread! Wine that can be spilled! We always think that we need some thing huge like a big fireball to fight but God gives us something ridiculous to drive away the Devil like misspelled words or a little pebble in a slingshot "this multitude, too, shall learn that it is not by sword or spear that the Lord saves"! I'm reminded many times of a post from Quantitative Metathesis called "A Face Off" and this is definitely one of those days. God is all powerful! Worship Him! He is great and glorious!!

Why are my brothers so cool?

2010-01-16T12:08:00.001-06:00

The rock monsters do well on the lego half-pipe.

Frivolity!

2010-01-16T11:27:00.003-06:00

"I remember when I was a postulant I sometimes used to seek my own satisfaction and enjoy a little pleasure. This longing was so strong that I was forced to hurry past your cell and clutch the balustrade to prevent myself from turning back. A thousand excuses for seeing you came into my head so that I could justify my natural impulses- excuses like asking your permission for various things. How glad I am now that I crushed such impulses fright from the start of my Religious life! I am already enjoying the reward promised to those who fight bravely. No longer so I feel that I must refuse to let my heart have any comfort, for my heart is centered on God... Because it has loved only Him, it has gradually developed until it can manifest to those dear to Him a tenderness incomparably deeper than if it had spent itself in selfish, barren love."

St. Therese, Story of a Soul

I love that even though God's grace makes us so amazingly better than we are, we are still human and our bodies develop at similar rates for everyone. Therese was 15 when she entered Carmel- most of us are in 9th grade at 15. Saving the few that are spared, most of us had those certain crushes at school that we would see when we walked to certain classes- when you saw that person coming toward you, you would start planning in your head how you were going to look at them and when you did pass them their look meant the rest of your day to you. "That was an odd smile... is he mad at me? I bet he doesn't like me anymore- maybe he had a bad morning- what's wrong?" then you would find out nothing was wrong and you obsessed over the odd way he smiles when he has gum in his mouth. God doesn't spare us from normal life, he just gives us the ability to rise above it. Therese loved her sister as her mother since their own mother died when she was very young. I love the vision of her clutching the banister to make herself not go back when she knew she was just being frivolous. Only by grace, only by the sacraments, only by God living in us can we stop doing, not just evil things, but stupid things as well! And when God lives in us and when our hearts are undivided in Him- we won't have to take dramatic measures to protect ourselves from stupidity anymore. We'll see all things as they are- we'll see that God is infinitely more valuable than that moment of satisfaction. We'll live our whole lives using all the passing things in the world instead of having them use us!

Praised be Jesus our strength!

On our way to get a Christmas tree...

2009-12-20T22:08:00.003-06:00

We had to wait a long time and decided to sing songs. I'll provide the lyrics to the rap Benjamin composed.

Joseph provides ostinato: Googles in the hooouse...

Benjamin:

Googles in the house yeah PUNCH PUNCH

Googles in the house yeah totally

Googles in the house the end- Cabbages-

Eatin' forty- forty crunches of google cereal YUM YUM

Every google donut today- yeah! Cut!

He'll be rich someday.

2009-11-23T09:02:00.002-06:00

"Union with God is a song which does not die in the hearing, a flavor which does not abate in the eating, an embrace which gives delight without end."

St. Augustine

2009-11-21T11:29:00.001-06:00

CAN'T

WAIT

TO GO

HOME!!!

My Kind of Mothering

2009-11-18T20:32:00.004-06:00

The readings for daily mass have been pretty kick-butt lately. I love how the Mother in the first reading today is not only encouraging her sons to be faithful to God because of the law, but because God made the world out of nothing. This Mom not only instilled in her children a fear of the Lord but she educated them about really cool things! So much so that her youngest asks his executioner "what he is waiting for"- Blessed be God forever!

It happened that seven brothers with their mother were arrested
and tortured with whips and scourges by the king,
to force them to eat pork in violation of God’s law.

Most admirable and worthy of everlasting remembrance was the mother,
who saw her seven sons perish in a single day,
yet bore it courageously because of her hope in the Lord.
Filled with a noble spirit that stirred her womanly heart with manly courage,
she exhorted each of them
in the language of their ancestors with these words:
“I do not know how you came into existence in my womb;
it was not I who gave you the breath of life,
nor was it I who set in order
the elements of which each of you is composed.
Therefore, since it is the Creator of the universe
who shapes each man’s beginning,
as he brings about the origin of everything,
he, in his mercy,
will give you back both breath and life,
because you now disregard yourselves for the sake of his law.”

Antiochus, suspecting insult in her words,
thought he was being ridiculed.
As the youngest brother was still alive, the king appealed to him,
not with mere words, but with promises on oath,
to make him rich and happy if he would abandon his ancestral customs:
he would make him his Friend
and entrust him with high office.
When the youth paid no attention to him at all,
the king appealed to the mother,
urging her to advise her boy to save his life.
After he had urged her for a long time,
she went through the motions of persuading her son.
In derision of the cruel tyrant,
she leaned over close to her son and said in their native language:
“Son, have pity on me, who carried you in my womb for nine months,
nursed you for three years, brought you up,
educated and supported you to your present age.
I beg you, child, to look at the heavens and the earth
and see all that is in them;
then you will know that God did not make them out of existing things;
and in the same way the human race came into existence.
Do not be afraid of this executioner,
but be worthy of your brothers and accept death,
so that in the time of mercy I may receive you again with them.”

She had scarcely finished speaking when the youth said:
“What are you waiting for?
I will not obey the king’s command.
I obey the command of the law given to our fathers through Moses.
But you, who have contrived every kind of affliction for the Hebrews,
will not escape the hands of God.”

2 Maccabees 7:1, 20-31

Upon the Feast of St. Elizabeth

2009-11-17T14:56:00.004-06:00

"The apostolate implies souls capable of being carried away with enthusiasm for an idea, of consecrating themselves to the triumph of a principle. When the realization of this ideal is supernaturalized by the interior spirit, and when our zeal, in its end, its center, and its means is quickened by the spirit of Christ, we shall have the life which is in itself the most perfect of all, the highest possible life..."

Dom Jean Baptiste Chautard, The Soul of the Apostolate

Sunday

2009-11-15T12:19:00.004-06:00

First of all, can I just say that I love God? Seriously, He's just so amazing and normal and there but not and just every incredible paradox you could ever think of. What the heck- no wonder He's can create a universe- I mean- really. And in two weeks it will be the first Sunday of Advent. I'm ridiculously excited for Christmas this year.

In any case I've been pretty down this week because of my classes. I go to a Christian school and all but there are many here who still ascribe to worldly ideas. In my "Jesus in Scripture and Tradition" class we keep talking about the "historical Jesus" and what stories in the New Testament are historical and what words those early Christians decided to put in Jesus' mouth. While reading about it all these arguments can make sense and for awhile I felt like I was in this weird state of "but I thought these things were real!"- and then I remembered that God exists. I think people get so into things so fast- even studying Jesus- that they forget that God exists. God times things so well. First of all he had Jesus be Jewish (I had a friend freak out about how cool it was that Jesus was Jewish this week- little did she know I was thinking the same thing!). The Jews were so cool- they had everything figured out- or rather, God had figured everything out for them with the 10 commandments and Solomon and the prophets- plus they really knew how to worship, study God, and party. In short, they knew how to live. Granted at Jesus time there was some corruption and oppression and tax collecting, but hey, who doesn't do a little tax collecting every now and then? Plus, in Jesus time the Romans were lording over the Jews- and what were the Romans? They were some pretty intelligent folks- I mean God putting himself in Greco-Roman influenced society was just about the smartest move ever- those guys had it all figured out too! And on top of it all GOD did it! Why are we even asking if Jesus really turned the water into wine at the wedding in Canna, or what Jesus "really said"- Jesus said it all because it's holy scripture! Did Jesus eat on the Wednesday before passover or Thursday night when passover was beginning? Can't the answer be "yes"? Can't God do what he sees fit? Can't we live with paradoxes? Do scholars every pray? Do we have to forget that we're not God the second we start studying something? Can't we love what God gave us? Humans!

In the meantime it's Sunday and I'm deciding to focus on what God gave me this week. The world gives me so much crap and it weighs me down. God gives me love and light and life. Let us continually give thanks to Him! There is nothing better for us to do than to give ourselves wholly and unreservedly to God!

Creativity

2009-10-31T19:30:00.004-05:00

My family doesn't do Halloween but it doesn't stop me from appreciating the creativity of the costumes that I'm seeing around campus. The most charming one I saw was a Batman and Robin pair on a two person bike- The Batman cried, "the wind Robin! The wind!!", and Robin stiffly replied "pedal harder." In the Caf I saw a "dark and stormy knight"- which was a guy dressed in black armor carrying an umbrella. But the most creative I think was the guy dressed up as a tea bag. He had sacks of leaves tied up in tulle on either side of him with a Lipton logo hanging off. Genius.
Notice that all of these were males. It seems males are much more creative when it comes to dressing themselves in costumes. I've seen slut after prostitute after naughty this or that- it seems the girls can't think past being some sexual object. Even when they dress up as something- it has to be low cut, short, or skin tight- preferably with heels you can't walk in. Where's the creativity in that? What's the point of dressing up as a skank if everyone else is too? Sigh. The only guy I saw showing skin was a guy wearing a kilt and body paint. Besides it's like 30 degrees. Oh for elementary school when people dressed as paper dolls or a living room lamp or a bike or pizza or favorite book characters! Viva creativity!

Plus I'm more excited for the REAL holy-day tomorrow. Celebrating all the Saints!! I'd say tomorrow is definitely a day for meat and treats!

2009-10-26T18:49:00.001-05:00

"I would stop doing ANYTHING to eat macaroni"

-Benjamin

Silk Stocking Sunday

2009-10-25T10:42:00.003-05:00

This is the second Sunday that I've worn my silk stockings- I think they go quite well with my brown boots- as a house mate once called them, my pretty boots. It's a pretty grey Sunday but God loves even when it's grey outside. At church I sat with a certain lovely family who's son was one of the head servers for mass. I ended up being between the Father of this family and other young man I didn't know but looked very respectable (wearing Sunday pants and nice sweater). I LOVE GENTLEMEN! The Father of the family took care of me the entire mass too. Though he didn't share the same kneeler with me he would reach over and pull mine down for me before I could stick my foot out to flip it down myself- otherwise I would've let the young man on my right do it for me. I kind of like bossing young men into doing things for me like that, sometimes I stand outside of doors when I'm with young men until they open them for me. I think that's the teacher and the mothering instinct in me. When we went up for communion the Father let me go ahead of him like his own daughter. Oh how I love Christians! How I love that we can love so deeply and be so humble to each other just because! After mass he looked at me with such a tender smile and said "I'm so glad you chose to sit with us!"- like I was somehow a plus to their day as much as they had been for me! "Love one another with mutual affection; anticipate one another in showing honor" (Rom. 12:10). Now I'm going eat a bowl of fruit soup. I'm so spoiled. I get to go mass 4 days in a row and eat fruit soup and blueberry muffins and watch my little brothers grow up! Praised be Jesus!

Benjamin's Latest

2009-10-18T13:38:00.003-05:00

"Mom? Can I have 20 dollars a day from now on?"

And That Too...

2009-09-28T19:12:00.003-05:00

Alright, I'm too the point where I'm feeling sick when I hear a swear word. I'm sick of negativity. I'm sick of complaints about things that are wonderful. I'm sick of sexual humor- sick of hearing about people I love getting drunk. DOWN WITH APATHY!

Today in my "Jesus in Scripture and Tradition" class the teacher was talking about the gospel of Mark (and how COOL it is!), and how Jesus demands that we, as Christians, need to operate so differently than how the world operates. He talked about how if we are followers of Christ, we will suffer because Christ suffered- and if for some reason we aren't suffering- we may want to ask why. I could hardly believe that those words were spoken in that classroom. He said it hurts to follow Jesus because it hurts to be different. How it hurts more to see others suffer without Christ though! These poor people feed on complains only to find that complaints only cause the soul to become bitter and helpless. It's just like eating too much fast food. The negativity here has pressed on me ever since I got here at the beginning of the year. It's horrible to witness- and sometimes in my own sorrows I wish I could just complain- but my taste for fast food has waned in the past few years and I know the consequences of living that way. The thing is, God wants our whole selves. He wants us to question how things are done, he wants us to realize that his laws were revealed to us for us. He wants us to have undivided hearts. Oh yes- and he wants that too- whatever that may be for you. Swearing for some odd satisfaction, getting drunk because thats what you do in college, telling a sex joke so that you can futher pervert and turn into a killing machine one of the most holy and beautiful acts God has entrusted to us. Down with apathy, down with mediocrity, down with not loving, down with holding things back from God. Let yourself be opened and let the light of Christ purify you! Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God!

Saturday Awesomeness

2009-09-26T14:50:00.005-05:00

So, I'm sitting in the music library trying to do homework and I look out the window only to see two kids, a brother and sister, walking cheerfully on the sidewalk below with brown bags over their heads.

Do I need to say more?

Love! Only Love!

2009-09-25T15:39:00.003-05:00

"On our way to Rome we crossed Switzerland and saw its mountains with their snow covered summits lost in clouds, it's waterfalls, it's deep valleys thick with huge ferns and purple heather. It was wonderfully good for me to see all the richness of this natural loveliness. My soul soared up to Him who delights to scatter such masterpieces over the place where we spend our brief time of exile. Sometimes we were carried up to the mountain peaks, and precipices, whose depths our eyes could not plumb, opened at our feet as if to engulf us. Then we passed through a charming village, with it's chalets and graceful church spire over which wisps of cloud were drifting. Later the blue waters of a great lake, calm and clear, would catch the glory of the setting sun.

"But how can I describe what I felt before the wonder and the poetry of these scenes? They were a foretaste of the splendors of heaven. I saw life in a convent as it really is, with all it's restrictions and it's little daily hidden sacrifices. I realized how easy it would be to become wrapped up in oneself and forget the sublime purpose of our vocation. I said: "Later, in the hour of trial, when I am imprisoned in Carmel and able to see only a small patch of sky, I shall recall today and it will give me strength. All my trifling affairs will be lost in the power and majesty of God. I shall love only Him and I shall escape the misfortune of attaching myself to trifles, now that I have glimpsed what He has in store for those who love Him.""

-St. Therese of Lisieux, Story of a Soul

Bath Night

2009-09-05T19:42:00.003-05:00

Me: Do you want a Spiderman towel or a fluffy towel?

Benjamin: Um... fluffy... (muttering to himself) I wish they made towels out of silk...

Benjamin's Evening

2009-09-03T21:33:00.003-05:00

I heard the legos going in his room while I sewed tonight. He ran in later and showed us what he was bound to make sooner or later- a lego google. In the background of this picture is the single piece of cherry pie he wanted for a bedtime snack tonight. He insisted that I make him one piece- not a whole pie or a half pie- one piece shaped like one piece. And that's what we did. Oh how we spoil him! But how can your resist spoiling someone who looks at you like that?

Silk Stockings

2009-09-02T11:54:00.004-05:00

I love being a Christian because you get used to having small things thrill you. My most recent thrill is this pair of socks. They aren't just any socks- to me they are silky, cream colored knee highs that bring me into all my dreams about silk stockings that I got in my mind from reading all those Lucy Maud Montgomery novels. You can't tell from the picture but they're shiny from the silkiness- they are now my Sunday socks and will be a secret delight for the dark winter months at school.

"I wish I could have a pair- just one pair- of silk stockings. Ilse has three. Her father gives her everything she wants, now that he has learned to love her. But Aunt Elizabeth says silk stockings are immoral. I wonder why- any more than silk dresses."

L.M. Montgomery, Emily Climbs

Christian Culture

2009-09-01T21:46:00.004-05:00

"He demonstrates nothing, He doesn't try to justify himself, He doesn't argue. He teaches. His authority imposes itself because the wisdom that emanates from him is irresistible."

In Conversation with God, 526

I had a long discussion tonight with some family members about Catholic culture and education. It was sparked by a conversation earlier in the day with an individual who had the notion that weekly mass at my dear old Catholic high school should be made optional for students. The school has always had it's foot down on the matter and the discussion tonight revolved around why they would do that. Why would a school not run whole heartedly to have people choosing to go to a weekly mass instead of having it required of them? Doesn't requiring something make a bunch of people who aren't Catholic or just plain don't care to go to mass more than once a week create the danger of seeing mass in a negative light? What do we really want of these kids? Isn't it always better to choose to pray on your own whims instead of having someone dictate a time, place, and way of praying for you? Isn't it more honest? More sincere...?

The question that really sparked my interest was "what do we want of these kids?" The simple answer I think is that we want them to be saved- to know, love, and serve God. The school doesn't exactly put that in the mission statement but they do profess to be Catholic, and that is in the mission of every Christian- indeed, every human! The question that follows though, is how are we going to help them do that? This school has decided to do it by creating a Catholic culture in which the students can abide. People need to know what being a Christian is all about- even if they're not Christians. It's such a huge piece of the world and it's history (and it's future!) that it's worth at least to be educated in it. But since we are a Catholic school we have not only the opportunity to educate people about the faith, but also to encourage them to love it, live it, to love God- and where is the best place to go to experience God? What is the heart of the Church? What is the fount of life, grace, and holiness?

It is the Eucharist!

'If you do not eat my flesh and drink my blood you shall not have life within you'! So why would experiencing the Eucharist in Holy Mass not be part of the education at a Catholic school? How can we understand religion class if our souls are dead- if we are not animated by the Holy Spirit through the grace received in the Eucharist? A mind can only go so far for a person because a person is made up of more than a mind. We have emotions, physical bodies, a soul. We baptize our infants so they can get started on a life of grace as soon as possible. We raise our children in families that are meant to support the child in growing in love for Jesus. A Catholic culture cannot be separated from the Eucharist. A Catholic school, a Catholic family, a religious community- these should all be places where a person's soul, mind, and heart can expand and breathe. Why do we need to live in the world as if we were of the world? Why do we need to suffocate ourselves and cripple others in the name of "free choice"? Through the education in the school, those that don't care or know anything of Mass will gain the knowledge. If God wills, he will open their hearts to know and love him in the Eucharist. We must not fail to give them every opportunity to grow!

We need more Red Cardigan Societies and little ideas that will give us room to breathe in this confused world of ours. Tea party anyone?

Late Birthday and Googles!

2009-08-21T16:47:00.012-05:00

Benjamin's birthday is in May- but we were preparing for a wedding this year and he never had a birthday party so we decided to have one now- at the end of August. Benjamin's request was to go bowling- and we could see why, he played two games and his total for the day was 202! It was almost the top score of the day if it hadn't been for his best friend who beat Benjamin with a score of 212.

You can see how elated he was most of the time. When he broke 100 he grabbed my Mom's face (twice) and screamed "I GOT 100!!!" I think he had a good time.

The theme of the party was, of course, googles (couldn't have seen that one coming). If you don't know what a google is, here are a few pictures. Googles show up everywhere and come in many forms. The way Benjamin always describes a google is as "a duck with no hands"- a google is one of the many "Webkinz" stuffed animals you can puchase and play games online with it- a total scam but I think Benjamin has gotten a lot of ware out of his googles.

This is an actual google stuffed animal,

but they often show up other places such as...

Walls:

School work (army of googles on the left side of the shield of virtues):

Vacation Bible School work (why the google was necessary on the St. Joseph window I've no idea..):

Drawn for fun (this is a "chocolate google", a very fat one, and his name is "Halupeno"- kudos to Benjamin for sounding out the word "Jalepeno" by himself) (this particular google picture resides next to Benjamin's bed):

And even in disguise (this is a snowman google- no hands!)

He draws them on his body, he signs them next to his name, I find them scribbled in the steam on the bathroom mirror when I get out of the shower, he bikes with them, makes up stories about them, has written the rule book about what googles can and cannot do and anything else one would want to know about them...

...So it was no surprise when he requested a google cake:

We also played pin the beak on the google. I think he had a good time.

Soup Day

2009-08-20T13:29:00.002-05:00

Being rainy and cold- I thought it an excellent day for soup and reading. Reading that I've tried to do for years but never really got done... I think a lot of those into Anne of Green Gables series fizzle out around Rainbow Valley. Somehow when the exciting Anne and Gilbert love story is now more of a peaceful ever after, people lose interest. Being a big advocate for loving everyday life, I didn't want to be that way- so I've tried to plunge for the past few summers into Rainbow Valley. It seems I've been unsuccessful- but I did read a good chunk today.

In the meantime I was more successful making soup. During the past few years of living in the house at St. Olaf I found out that people actually make soup- not just get it from a can- horrible I know. I also found out how easy it was to make your own with whatever you had. Today I made some that I like to make a lot with dried split peas.

I boiled about 5 cups of water with

half a bag of dried split peas, rinsed
about half an onion, chopped
two cloves of chopped garlic
one sweet potato
2 carrots, chopped
2 stalks of celery (w/ leaves) chopped

After that I added seasonings like a little dried oregano, a bay leaf, and salt and pepper to taste. I didn't add enough salt this time- silly me. Then I boiled it all for about an hour- maybe- I really don't know how long. I usually just boil it until I can't stand to not eat it any more- but an hour would be good- at least until the peas get soft and mushy and it becomes thick and soupish. Easy, good for lent, sticks to the ribs, and made out of random things anyone can have!

Ave Maria!

2009-08-16T18:30:00.002-05:00

This year we decided to celebrate the Assuption of the Blessed Virgin by having a tea party- and seeing as it wasn't even a holy day of obligation this year, I think it was quite appropriate to put a little extra feasting in the day. The wall was plastered with some (not even all!) of the pictures of Mary that I posses:

We ate real tea party food like chicken salad, cucumber sandwiches, lady fingers, strawberry sorbet- and of course, plenty of tea and iced tea. One of the guests provided a copious amount of fresh mint from his own plant for the iced tea and pretty little garnishes for the desserts.

We also made garlands of stars- of course each one had 12- everything had to have marian signifiance- she was our guest of honor!

After we feasted we went for a rosary walk and sang hymns in front of the Mary statue at church. The Blessed Mother really let us share in her joy that day!

It really was a wonderful day- and it's a small triumph for Catholic culture in our silly world that separates God and everday life. It's nice to have a party for people like the Blessed Mother too- she doesn't allow you to get stressed out or have any kind of worldly focus. One night I was supposed to be practicing snare drum but I was planning instead and she wouldn't stop bothering me until I practiced. Such a mom. I'm definitely hoping to celebrate other feast days this way. Ave Maria!

Finishing Up...

2009-08-01T15:56:00.005-05:00

My sister and her new husband finally moved into their little house this week. For us that means that the wall we put up to give rooms to 6 children in this house is coming down!

Goodbye Google pasted on the wall with "Benderoos"...

Goodbye doodles on the back of the door...

Goodbye door that shut out the sunlight...

Hello windows and sun and a wide open room!!

Success

2009-07-18T17:55:00.002-05:00

Rachel's wedding was quite successful I must say. She probably had the most modest and lovely wedding dress of the whole summer- no spaghetti straps for this Madame! I finished my little "Anne" tea dress an hour before we had to leave for the wedding. I'm so glad wedding masses are- well, masses! It was so prayerful and peaceful- I could feel God filling the room. Pray for this couple!

Waiting

2009-07-04T10:49:00.002-05:00

One week until my sister's wedding. I haven't finished my bridesmaid dress yet- or the pillows for the rings- but if I can get my act together they could be done by Monday. I've been such a party pooper when when it comes to weddings for the past year. I kept proclaiming "I'm so sick of weddings" and silently judged people when they seemed excited at a detail of a wedding. I still do condemn mass spending on weddings and getting stressed about frivolous details but I don't hate weddings themselves anymore. God doesn't allow us to hate one of his creations. Matrimony is worth celebrating. The Church even says. A wedding is a foretaste of heaven, it's a welcome into a union after the death of giving up yourself to follow God's plan the way he wants you to. It's a mirror of the resurrection! So I'm actually excited for my sister's wedding next week. I broke the iron though... we'll see how far I can get on sewing stuff now...

Berry Picking Today

2009-07-03T17:12:00.003-05:00

Benjamin was my picking partner since we only had 5 buckets and he was a little shaky on what berries to pick. Afterward he kept sticking is face in the bucket and inhaling deeply telling me that I must smell them.
When we drove up my Dad realized he only had 13 dollars in his pocket- we had to be very careful and it ended up that what we picked was a little over 11 dollars! 7 pounds of strawberries for 12 bucks? Not bad.

You Wonder Why Things Happen...?

2009-06-27T11:47:00.002-05:00

"Bousset has a sentence which is beyond the comprehension of an apostle who does not realize what must be the soul of his apostolate. It runs: When God desires a work to be wholly from his hand, he reduces all to impotence and nothingness, and then He acts."

-Dom Jean-Baptiste Chautard, The Soul of the Apostolate

From Benjamin

2009-06-21T14:44:00.002-05:00

"Mommy! Can I have my own email so I can send Gracie funny messages like... like... when I was washing dishes I used your toothbrush!"

Quiet

2009-06-12T14:50:00.002-05:00

Ears Pierced!

2009-06-05T16:43:00.003-05:00

Grace got her ears pierced this week-13 and looking very grown up! She's been very diligent about cleaning and taking care of them too. I think the diamond studs compliment her shiny black locks very well!

Last Look at Aaker

2009-06-02T16:22:00.005-05:00

Not aching to be back at all- I just love sunny window sills- especially in the prayer room and the kitchen. I think I'll miss that tree though- and the gorgeous shadows it casts on the house. School closed exactly a week ago and it feels like forever ago. Thank you Jesus so much for summer!

Be Not Afraid!

2009-06-02T09:28:00.009-05:00

"The end of human creatures is union with God; and in this their happiness consists."

-St. Thomas Aquinas

Lately I've had a lot of extra time to pray (seeing as it's summertime) and I got really scared one day that I shouldn't be praying so much. Ridiculous, I know- but the reason being that I'd love to be a mother someday and all I see is mothers being busy and not being able to go to daily mass and adoration at 6:30 AM- and you know how when you get tired and you spend too much time by yourself you get cooky. Anyway, How could I possibly handle being a mother if I prayed so much now? Why would I get myself used to something that can't last? But then I realized that all I see also is how many mothers don't trust in the Lord, how many mothers don't act like Christians, how many mothers have the "Martha" attitude instead of the "Mary". We don't need the Martha attitude in the world- it's not that it was just her lot in life not to sit and contemplate with Jesus. No! She can love her work and wait on Jesus in peace and love rather than stress. "You are anxious about many things... Mary has chosen the better part." Martha has every chance to contemplate God because she exists. It was Mary's time to sit and contemplate- which everyone needs and everyone needs to make time for. The Mary type is the one who trusts the Lord to make time for everything. It doesn't make her unsuitable for motherhood. The Lord will make time for me to be quiet with him if I am a mother some day. What kind of a mother would I be if I gave up prayer? How would I stand up to the devil? How would I stay myself through all the temptations? How would I deal with the world. I wouldn't is the answer. I'd resent my husband, yell at my kids, complain about housework, go to Sunday mass hot and angry. Everything in the Bible is true. Everything they tell you religion class is true too- you need to give up your life joyfully! Blessed are the persecuted, blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, it shall be theirs! I need not be afraid of drawing closer to him, we are all meant for heaven!

Or Maybe...

2009-05-24T22:18:00.004-05:00

As my Mom was tucking in Benjamin tonight he said,

"I think I'll name my first baby Milkshake- then I could say Come heeere Milkshake...

...wait, that doesn't sound very good..."

I walked by their room later and heard him and Joseph discussing the matter further,

B: "Or maybe I'll name him Shakespeare..."
J: "What about Margaret- or William?"
B: "Well... maybe just Jeremy."

What kind of brothers do I have?

Sliver of Home

2009-05-23T14:51:00.003-05:00

"Dad! I don't wanna go!"
"Benjamin go"
"No! The bees!"
"Go!"
"They'll sting me!"
"If you get stung I'll give you 20 dollars"
*Benjamin goes*

Joseph Visits Norway Valley

2009-05-17T22:18:00.006-05:00

"In the woods...

...is perpetual youth"

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Drinking in Blossoms

2009-05-16T23:30:00.003-05:00

Gracie and I watched all 6 or so hours of Anne of Green Gables so far this weekend. One of my favorite parts is when Anne, wildly happy as a result of coming home after a year of teaching and exhausting romance, shoves a bouquet of wild flowers in Marilla's face and says "Smell them Marilla- drink them in!" Seems like such a lovely idea.

Leaves and Lilacs

2009-05-15T23:47:00.005-05:00

I was home for the morning and found that the leaves, the lilacs and the lily of the valley were all ringing the glory of God.

Let the light in!

Coming Home Soon!

2009-05-10T17:14:00.003-05:00

From today I have approximately one week and 5 days until I'm home for the summer. It's only been a week since I saw them last, but I miss my family so much and can hardly wait to see them again. This month has had it's ups and downs and I know that going home will bring many sorrows- but Jesus is with us! How can we fast when the bridegroom is with us?

"Down with all melancholy! That should never find a place except in the heart which has lost faith. I am joyful. Sorrow is not gloom. Gloom should be banished from the Christian soul."

-Blessed Pier Giorgio Frassati

The Interior Life

2009-05-09T00:12:00.002-05:00

""What herb is most injurious to a young lady's beauty?" propounded Uncle Benjamin by way of starting conversation- "loosening things up a bit," as he would have said.
"Valancy, who's duty it was to say, "What?" did not say it. Nobody else said it, so Uncle Benjamin, after an expectant pause, had to answer, "Thyme," and felt that his riddle had fallen flat. He looked resentfully at Valancy who had never failed him before, but Valancy did not even seem to be aware of him. She was gazing around the table, examining relentlessly every one in this depressing assembly of sensible people and watching their little squirms with a detached, amused smile."

-Lucy Maud Montgomery, The Blue Castle

2009-05-08T07:54:00.002-05:00

"Let's work for heaven, all the rest is nothing."

-St. Bernadette

God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit!

2009-05-07T18:09:00.004-05:00

My Mom sent this to me today. Joseph wrote this prayer out and hung it next to his painting of the Sacred Heart in his room. It reads, "Jesus with all my heart I believe and love you, God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Amen." He just received his first communion two weeks ago and was quite glowingly happy. Pray he perseveres!

2009-05-07T09:07:00.003-05:00

"Learning unsupported by grace may get into our ears; it never reaches the heart."

-St. Isidore

St. Joseph the Worker

2009-05-01T09:37:00.002-05:00

Over all the virtues put on love, which binds the rest together and makes them perfect. Christ's peace must reign in your hearts, since as memebers of the body you have been called to that peace. Dedicate yourselves to thankfulness. Whatever you do weather in speech or in action, do it in the name of the Lord Jesus. Give thanks to God the Father through him.
Whatever you do, work at it with your whole being. Do it for the Lord rather than for men, since you know full well you will recieve an inheritance from him as your reward. Be slaves of Christ the Lord.

Col. 3: 14-15, 17, 23-24

Why Christians always know what to do...

2009-03-31T16:53:00.002-05:00

"I am troubled now. Yet what should I say?

'Father, save me from this hour'?

But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour.

Father, glorify your name."

Joseph's Art House

2009-03-24T14:37:00.004-05:00

He swept it out...

Made himself a sign...

...and moved in! He now keeps talking about trying to find a way to attach a potty onto the playhouse.

What do you do on a cloudy day?

2009-03-24T14:16:00.006-05:00

Note Benjamin's stylishly short pants. Joseph seems to be having quite a jolly time fighting with an invisible man as well.

Best Line of the Day...

Benjamin: "In my world, everyone has google bodies"

Later On...

Me: "Benjamin in your world does everyone have google bodies?"

Benjamin (while completely absorbed in his computer game): "No."

Me: "No?"

Benjamin: "In my world, everyone has google heads and regular human bodies... with no arms."

Rainy Monday

2009-03-23T15:20:00.002-05:00

Joseph is beginning to clean out the play house today to convert it into his art/prayer house. I don't feel like doing anything really today except napping- which I spent most of my morning doing. Benjamin keeps reminding me that he loves me and always wants to cuddle. They both keep reminding me how good and simple life is and how caught up I am sometimes in the stuffy paper details. I'm glad I'm at home, being at a college for too long really grinds you down. But "...this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison" 2 Cor. 4:17

Birthday Party No. 2

2009-03-22T19:10:00.003-05:00

Ironically, the angelfood cake that was so lovingly beaten by hand for me on my real birthday turned out better than the one I made today with an electric mixer. It could be due to the fact that I didn't really use a recipe, or that I think I deflated the egg whites when I was folding in the flour at the end... in any case, the bread knife I used to cut it worked better than any knife I've ever used. That knife is magical- it's so slick and I got it at the thrift store for $2.50. God is so interesting!

2009-03-10T08:59:00.004-05:00

"I find a heaven in the midst of saucepans and brooms"

-St. Stanislaus Kostka

Saturday

2009-03-07T13:18:00.003-06:00

Sunny Weekend

2009-03-01T22:17:00.004-06:00

It's March! God blessed me so much with this house. What a peaceful sight to wake up to!

"... Conduct yourselves with reverence... realizing that you were ransomed from your futile conduct... not with perishable things like silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ..."

-1 Pt. 1:17-19

2009-02-26T10:06:00.001-06:00

"In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world"
-Jn 16:33b

Ash Wednesday

2009-02-25T08:09:00.002-06:00

This year I received a Magnificat Lenten Companion free from church and I've been aching to read it. The Ash Wednesday reflection began this way:

"'Brothers,' said Bernard of Clairvaux to his quarreling monks 'there are more enjoyable ways of going to hell'"

What a way to kick off lent! What an encouragement to really just live it. You might as well. It's so silly to damn yourself by rending your garments and not your heart- "Debauchery and gluttony would at least be more lively" as the reflection goes on to say. It's foolish not to believe in God, but it's more foolish to know hes there and ignore him.

"As your fellow workers we beg you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For he says 'In an acceptable time I have heard you, on the day of salvation I have helped you.' Now is the acceptable time! Now is the day of salvation!"
-Cor. 6:2

"I do believe, help my unbelief!"

2009-02-23T07:59:00.003-06:00

"But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us."
Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' Everything is possible to one who has faith."
Then the boy's father cried out, "I do believe, help my unbelief!"
-Mk. 9

When I was in 8th grade I decided I wanted to be perfect. Looking back I don't even know what I saw as really that holy or good in myself- but that was my goal. I had this crazy drive to "be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect" and I knew that it was possible even if everyone told me it wasn't. I didn't really know what being perfect looked like- I thought it included things like sitting up straight all the time, and eating a fruit and a vegetable for lunch- but I really think the greatest point of that decision was my faith. I never thought that the hope or the drive to be perfect would be more valuable than the actual product. People always discredit desires because they're associated a lot with basic survival drives and appetites- but desire is so important- I could argue that it's the beginnings of faith and hope. Faith and trust has gotten me through college- though I'm not done yet- it's gotten me through immense spiritual dryness and poverty- boy, you wonder why Jesus always says "Go in peace- your faith has saved you". We don't have to be perfect to be resigned to the will of God- "I do believe, help my unbelief!"

Think!

2009-02-19T21:58:00.005-06:00

"Abandonment, rightly understood, includes everything. It requires a great humility, since it is submission of ourselves to creatures and events, seeing Jesus himself in them. It requires an immense faith, confidence every moment, to tear open the veil of secondary causes, to break through the screen of creatures which too often prevents us from seeing Jesus behind them, who governs everything, since nothing- nothing- happens without His having willed or permitted it."

- Father John C. J. d' Elbee I Believe in Love

I've been realizing lately the intense amount of concentration- and contemplation- needed for one to live well. To be a true Christian every part of you must cry out to God- not just your mind and heart- but your body- and your very soul. I always think about how Paul tells us to greet each other with "psalms and hymns and spiritual songs"- why don't we do that? Loving God is something that you do with all of yourself- but we constantly have to slap ourselves back into reality every time we get distracted- which is pretty much 23 hours a day. Jesus is everywhere we just need to ask- beg- for the grace to see him everywhere- which will start our minds thinking about seeing him everywhere and help break through the wall of distraction for 30 seconds. Think! Love! See!

A Scene from Home

2009-02-17T22:24:00.003-06:00

2009-02-10T08:30:00.001-06:00

"Do not say: it is impossible for me to influence others. If you are a Christian, it is impossible for this not to happen."

-St. John Chrysostom

A Boy Eats Bologna

2009-01-13T19:07:00.005-06:00

Isn't it interesting that on a family's road to heaven they encounter scenes like this? God is so weird.

2008-12-28T08:01:00.002-06:00

"...in spite of all my tears, I felt a great peace deep down within me. Yet this inner peace did not prevent my feeling of immense sorrow. And Jesus was silent. He seemed to have left me and nothing revealed his presence to me."

-St. Therese, Story of a Soul (84)

I am convinced that if people knew themselves we would have many, many saints in our midst. St. Therese admits that she is sorrowful- admits everything that she feels and thinks- and resigns herself to the will of God. It's not getting caught up in your feelings- but admitting them. Being a Christian is crazy- it's like you always know what the right answer is and never have any reason to complain.

Oh Beauty!

2008-12-25T22:21:00.005-06:00

"One Sunday when I was looking at a picture of Our Lord on the Cross, I saw the Blood coming from one of His hands and felt terribly sad to think that It was falling to the earth and that no one was rushing foreward to catch It. I determinded to stay continually at the foot of the Cross and recieve It. I knew that I should then have to spread It among other souls. The cry of Jesus on the Cross- "I am thirsty"- rang continually in my heart and sent me burning with a new, intense longing. I wanted to quench the thirst of my Well-Beloved and I myself was consumed with a thirst for souls. I was concerned not with the souls of priests but with those of great sinners which I wanted to snatch from the flames of hell."

-St. Therese, Story of a Soul (63)

Right on Therese- It's so hard for me to see people suffering in the hell they make for themselves when Jesus is pouring out His love for us- if we would only reach out and drink! Grace is ours for the taking- we have only to ask for it! No one can complain about the lack of grace that is offered us because we have infinite opportunities- it's not hard- though it seems so- to just act on the grace that we have inside of us. How often do the married call on the graces stored up from the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony to help them in their daily struggles? How often do the unconfirmed remember that they've been washed in the waters of Baptism and that the grace received in that sacrament lies waiting in their hearts to be stirred up in their souls? Oh if men would only see what they are capable of with God- with the grace he pours on us! Anything! Anything is possible- even wacky stuff like walking on water, weird! Why would God do that? But why not? Anything is possible. I think this is why I continue to enjoy activities such as roller skating and jump roping- why not? We're humans! Let us know 'how great is the joy to which we are called'! Oh beauty!

Small Delights

2008-12-23T09:26:00.008-06:00

"Marie took me on her knees on the evening before these days and prepared me just as she had done for my first communion. I recall how she once spoke to me about suffering. She said she thought God would always carry me like a baby rather than make me tread the path of suffering. After Holy Communion next day I remembered this and was seized with passionate longing to suffer. I felt absolutely certain that Jesus had many, many crosses in store for me. My soul was flooded with such consolation that I regard it as one of the greatest graces of my life. I was drawn to suffering. It had a charm which delighted me, though I didn't really understand much about this charm, for until then I had suffered without loving suffering. But from that day I felt a deep, true love for it."

-St. Therese, Story of a Soul

Rosary Making

2008-12-21T08:25:00.004-06:00

A nice Sunday morning activity. Joseph is quite a talented youth!

2008-12-20T09:21:00.002-06:00

Responsorial psalm today...

"Let the Lord enter, He is the king of glory!"

Lovely Snowy Saturday

2008-12-20T09:17:00.002-06:00