"In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world"

-Jn 16:33b

Ash Wednesday

This year I received a Magnificat Lenten Companion free from church and I've been aching to read it. The Ash Wednesday reflection began this way:

"'Brothers,' said Bernard of Clairvaux to his quarreling monks 'there are more enjoyable ways of going to hell'"

What a way to kick off lent! What an encouragement to really just live it. You might as well. It's so silly to damn yourself by rending your garments and not your heart- "Debauchery and gluttony would at least be more lively" as the reflection goes on to say. It's foolish not to believe in God, but it's more foolish to know hes there and ignore him.

"As your fellow workers we beg you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For he says 'In an acceptable time I have heard you, on the day of salvation I have helped you.' Now is the acceptable time! Now is the day of salvation!"
-Cor. 6:2

"I do believe, help my unbelief!"

"But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us."
Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' Everything is possible to one who has faith."
Then the boy's father cried out, "I do believe, help my unbelief!"
-Mk. 9

When I was in 8th grade I decided I wanted to be perfect. Looking back I don't even know what I saw as really that holy or good in myself- but that was my goal. I had this crazy drive to "be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect" and I knew that it was possible even if everyone told me it wasn't. I didn't really know what being perfect looked like- I thought it included things like sitting up straight all the time, and eating a fruit and a vegetable for lunch- but I really think the greatest point of that decision was my faith. I never thought that the hope or the drive to be perfect would be more valuable than the actual product. People always discredit desires because they're associated a lot with basic survival drives and appetites- but desire is so important- I could argue that it's the beginnings of faith and hope. Faith and trust has gotten me through college- though I'm not done yet- it's gotten me through immense spiritual dryness and poverty- boy, you wonder why Jesus always says "Go in peace- your faith has saved you". We don't have to be perfect to be resigned to the will of God- "I do believe, help my unbelief!"

Think!

"Abandonment, rightly understood, includes everything. It requires a great humility, since it is submission of ourselves to creatures and events, seeing Jesus himself in them. It requires an immense faith, confidence every moment, to tear open the veil of secondary causes, to break through the screen of creatures which too often prevents us from seeing Jesus behind them, who governs everything, since nothing- nothing- happens without His having willed or permitted it."

- Father John C. J. d' Elbee I Believe in Love

I've been realizing lately the intense amount of concentration- and contemplation- needed for one to live well. To be a true Christian every part of you must cry out to God- not just your mind and heart- but your body- and your very soul. I always think about how Paul tells us to greet each other with "psalms and hymns and spiritual songs"- why don't we do that? Loving God is something that you do with all of yourself- but we constantly have to slap ourselves back into reality every time we get distracted- which is pretty much 23 hours a day. Jesus is everywhere we just need to ask- beg- for the grace to see him everywhere- which will start our minds thinking about seeing him everywhere and help break through the wall of distraction for 30 seconds. Think! Love! See!

A Scene from Home

"Do not say: it is impossible for me to influence others. If you are a Christian, it is impossible for this not to happen."

-St. John Chrysostom